A wheel has spokes,
but it rotates around a hollow center.
A pot is made out of clay or glass,
but you keep things in the space inside.
A house is made of wood or brick,
but you live between the walls.
We work with something,
but we use nothing.
Somewhere along the way I abandoned nothing. Just sitting left me feeling like I should be doing something. Not doing something turned into reading fragments of a thousand different thoughts spilled online. When I eat I don’t simply eat; I watch sitcoms.
Slack is sacred to me, and when I think of how fidgety I become after a half an hour of massage, or of reading a book, I realize that somewhere I set slack aside. I began interpreting non-productive activities as slack, not seeing that slack is productive. Pouring all of my attention into an album or a book feeds me, yet I put on an album and have it playing in the background while I do something non-productive on my computer far more often than I put one on and just listen. (Right now I’m listening to Biosphere’s Substrata while I write, and if ever there was a headphones-in-the-dark album, it’s this one.) I just got up from reading on the futon to come to my computer because I wanted to see what I might be missing.
I don’t know how to move back toward embracing slack. How to move away from leisure and into calm. But I will find a way. I think getting back on my bicycle will help. I think going someplace, sitting and smoking my pipe will help. I think lying down with my headphones on will help. I just have to make myself do it.
I miss nothing.