I Miss You

I Miss You

I miss you. I just sort of whisper it to the north when I’m alone.
I miss you. Or at least, I miss us. And us is something that isn’t right now.
But no. I miss you, and the beauty and joy you brought into my life for a little while.
The way you handled my early trepidations with a smile.
How when I was working in the kitchen in a tank top and skirt you told me that I looked pretty.
The way you’d squeeze my hand so tight,
How your tiny eyes would fill with light
When I wanted to watch your favorite show with you
The very particular scent you’d leave on my pillow.
The light taste of tobacco on your kiss from the cigarette you didn’t want me to know you’d had.
Your mischief, and the tender, fierce longing in your embrace.

I was never angry that you left. I knew I wouldn’t have you forever.
I was only hurt by how.

But every day I remember something else you did or said that made my life a little more amazing.
And I miss you.

Just a Bit

She smiled, then laughed as I walked out the door.
I smiled back, the brightly colored streaks through our hair creating some instant bond.
She continued inside and my eyes followed her, my smile unfaded.
I traced her legs up to her too-short shorts,
thankful I was there to appreciate the sight.

It’s those little moments like that when I fall in love,
just a bit,
with a stranger.

People doubt it’s love, I’m sure.
They’ll say it’s “just lust.”
It is lust, but that doesn’t diminish the whirlpool feeling of my heart twisting at the joy of beauty in the person before me.
It really is love, and it’s beautiful in its own right,
and its object can be the pink-haired girl at the grocery store,
the stripper closing her eyes and relaxing into the song,
the cyclist sweeping lazily down the street.

I can fall in love with a dozen girls a day,
just a bit.

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Once more winter has come, blessing us with her icy breath.
But she blows from a distance.
Even in the chilly air on my ears I can feel the warmth nearby.
Spring hasn’t gone away, she’s just around the corner.